The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
