She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize