I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
