should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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