Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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