I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
