everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize