He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
