turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
