i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
