We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
