So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I did not marry a roomba.
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