one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
