Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize