She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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