I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
