You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
