hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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