I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize