i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What a dumb baby whore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
