Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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