lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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