is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
