singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
