Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
