If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
is that a dick in a sweater?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
