Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
