I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did I show you my penis last night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
