ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
