She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
