she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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