Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
