better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
