He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No subtext here. People are naked.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize