I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
