i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
