Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize