I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
