Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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