i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
