i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
