he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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