so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just pee around me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
