You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
