We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
