I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
