why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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