As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
