We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize