um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
