6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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