So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
