Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize