I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
