Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
