i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
