I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
