I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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