I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's never too late to be topless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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