I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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