can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
