My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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