that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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