I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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