apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
