so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
